Celebrating Pride And Visibility With These Six LGBTQ Power Couples
Ever since the first brick was thrown by fearless LGBTQ protestors at Stonewall, Pride has become an ever important aspect of expressing and celebrating queer identity. This monumental cultural touchstone has paved the way for decades of significant change and visibility for our community at large. Since the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in 2011, we can now openly serve in the military. Since gay and lesbian marriage was legalized in 2015, my wife Lauren and I are living a dream we never imagined possible. And as recently as this week, LGBTQ workplace protections are finally recognizable under the law. Through the powerful work of LGBTQ activists, our fiercely resilient community and our supportive allies, we have made substantial progress. Although the fight to true equality is a long road, queer Americans continue to move the political needle closer to equality by celebrating our victories, honoring our diversity, and tirelessly advocating for change.
Because LGBTQ folks continue to collectively experience discrimination, harassment, and intimidation in public spaces, occupying public space in pride, power, and solidarity has always been a vital aspect of our community. That’s why it feels especially disheartening that Pride looks a lot different this year. We are unable to parade through the glitter-filled streets of our hometowns, to embrace each other, to gather in queer spaces, or to fly across the country to join in with friends and celebrate ourselves in a safe space. Though our ways of celebrating have changed with the new COVID normal, our desire to spotlight queer voices and experiences remains just as strong.
In the spirit of Pride, we decided to write this article as a virtual placeholder for our parade this year. We sat down to interview six out and proud LGBTQ couples to showcase just how inspiring and powerful the voices of our queer community can be.
Christine + Sarah
Christine: I consider myself a native Texan, despite having been born in Cajun country and living overseas for a bit as a young kid. I’m the fourth of five kids and part of an even bigger Catholic extended family. Growing up in the heat and humidity of Houston, most of my time was spent pretending to be Hermione Granger (I certainly had her hair), subjecting my family to singing at all hours and bringing a little extra sass to every situation. I took this drama on the road and moved to LA to attend college, majoring in Theater and French. After graduating, I convinced the good people of live television to let me work with them for the next several years. I now work at Pixar Animation Studios in production management, helping to usher films onto the screen and hopefully, make them a little bit more queer.
Sarah: I grew up in Sleepy Hollow, New York (just like the legend) so I appreciate a good ghost story and homemade Halloween costume. I graduated from USC, School of Cinematic Arts and have since been following my passion for story in several facets of the industry, both in LA and the Bay Area. Most recently I was shooting and editing for an amazing non-profit called BAYCAT (check it out!) that works toward equal opportunity and representation in the media and on screen. As a proud introvert, cinematography has been my portal for absorbing and interpreting the world around me.
Photo by: Kenzie Kate Photography
Miriam + Janae
Miriam: My name is Miriam, I am a queer artist from Detroit. I am 22, soon to be 23 and I am a Leo. My pronouns are she/her. Lastly, I have a beautiful girlfriend named Janae.
Janae: Hello, my name is Janae and I am a regular queer automative worker. I am also from Detroit and I am an Aries. Even with my regular 9 to 5, I also like to do Photography. And my partner can openly agree I am an advocate gamer (laughs).
Ethan + Marco
Marco has been an Registered Nurse for over 10 years. He grew up in Pasadena, TX with his mother, father, and brother. He has developed some amazing cooking skills over the years and is an amazing host when having friends or family over. Marco is a very detail-oriented person and has accomplished so much in his career and personal life. Currently he is working as a director of nursing for the ICU, IMU, rapid response and dialysis services for a very prominent hospital system in Houston. Marco spends his free time exercising, traveling, working on home projects, taking care of his car, and spending time with friends.
Ethan grew up in Lake Jackson, TX with his mother and brother. Ethan showed horses competitively when he was younger and still enjoys going to the barn to ride whenever he can. Ethan also spends his free time exercising, gardening, traveling, and working on various amateur art projects. Ethan works as a Speech Language Pathologist specializing in adult brain injury rehabilitation and works within the same hospital system as Marco but at different locations.
Photo by: Bare By Elizabeth Photography
Ashley + Jessie
Jessie: I grew up in San Francisco Bay Area, attended University of San Francisco, graduated with a Bachelor’s of Science in Nursing, and commissioned into the Army as an Army Nurse. I’ve worked as a Critical Care Nurse in Army hospitals from Washington, DC, San Antonio, TX, and in Germany. I’ve also deployed to Iraq and Kosovo. When I’m not working, I like to travel, taste all the foods, snowboard, and run.
Ashley: I grew up in New Jersey, got my Masters in Occupational Therapy from Alvernia University in Pennsylvania and then I joined the Army after graduation. I received my Doctorate in Occupational Therapy from Baylor University and moved to Germany to work in a U.S. hospital overseas. I have deployed to Afghanistan and have worked in orthopedics, behavioral health, and burn rehabilitation during my time in the military thus far. I am one of three girls (middle) and consider my sisters two of my best friends. When I’m not working, I can be found being a couch potato watching movies at home or hanging out and hiking with my dog.
JC + Cristian
JC: I’m 28 years old. I'm a D&I practitioner who loves helping others and social connection, so my career is the perfect mix. I’m an avid horror fan and plant daddy. Currently obsessed with baking the perfect loaf of Italian bread. #basicquarantinegoals
Cristian: I’m 29 years old and an Immigration Lawyer from Mission, TX. I’m now living in San Antonio. I’m passionate about my work and love board games, cooking, and my dog.
Bianka + Ashley
Ashley: I’m 29 years old, my preferred pronouns are she/her. I’m from Houston, but currently I’ve been living in Long Beach California for the last 5 years. I’m a 4th generation Mexican, which most say doesn’t count, nevertheless I’m a strong lesbian woman of color who is a Texan at heart. I’m a student at Cal State University Long Beach and have been continuing my long academic journey that has included many ups and downs over the years. More importantly, it has provided me with a true appreciation for education.
I’m an obsessed sports fan who enjoys talking shit and I’m all about my Houston teams! I love my family and friends who have surrounded me with love and support and I will do anything to protect those that I love!
Bianka: I'm a first generation Mexican American born and raised in Long Beach, CA. I moved to Houston shortly after meeting Ashley and graduated from the University of Houston. I loved living in the city of Houston and consider it my second home! I'm a cannabis advocate for WeedQueens.Co and an avid start-up junkie. When I'm not working or writing for Weed Queens, I'm at my mom's house eating her delicious food or hanging out and dancing with my friends.
We asked each of these couples to share their story with us and to talk about what Pride, queer spaces, representation, and visibility mean to them. The highlights of these interviews are included below, but we cannot recommend reading their full interviews enough as each of their stories is heartfelt, important, inspiring, lovely, and worth celebrating.
CQ: Can you tell us a little about you as a couple?
Christine and Sarah: We’re obsessed with each other! Is that gross? It totally is, but it’s true! Time and again we each feel lucky to have found someone who shares so many of our values and interests but also helps us to see the world in new ways. As an introvert (Pisces)/extrovert (Sagittarius) pair, we are constantly learning from and surprising each other.
Together we love to make films, tell stories, spend time with our many amazing friends outside in the beautiful California sun. We can’t wait to travel the world, start a family, save the planet, read every book, have a prize-worthy garden and make academy award-winning films – totally doable right? Together, we’re hopeful.
Miriam: To describe our relationship, I would say we are best friends that fell in love. That could be a story for most, however ours feel like a Disney fairytale. Everything feels perfect. We have been together for a year and four months. There are many new yet beautiful layers I have discovered about my partner. We are healthy and we are in love, which is a first for the both of us.
Janae: Our relationship is always fun. She keeps everyday feeling fresh and brand new, opening me up to new things I have never tried or experienced. Filled with coffee dates and adventurous walks around the city. Learning new things about each other's flaws and imperfections. Our relationship is open and judgement free. We’re like best friends and lovers in a bundle package.
Ethan and Marco: We are perfectly matched opposites. We find that although we compliment each other, it's nice to have different strengths because it doesn't leave room for much competition between us. Marco is very precise, he keeps everything running smoothly, and is constantly working to improve our home, finances, and relationship. However, Marco can get so focused that sometimes he needs a reminder to take a break. Enter Ethan. Ethan is more laid-back and can easily adapt to situations. As Marco initiates and plans out a new goal, Ethan helps by carrying-out the plan. We work very well together when at home by dividing the chores evenly. We have the same taste in movies, shows, and music which is VERY helpful when relaxing in the evenings. We love cooking together and do so while listening to soft jazz and drinking wine.
Ashley: We are a dual-military couple currently stationed 800 miles away from each other. In the last five years, we have spent over three years anywhere from a two-hour drive or an eight-hour international flight away from each other. It is not ideal, yet we are very good at the necessary upkeep that comes with long distance dating and marriage. We will be moving back to Germany together in the next two months and should be together for (at least) the next three years!
Jessie is very organized, detail-oriented and extremely thoughtful. She is always willing to talk to strangers for me, haggle on the price of a car, handle our investment accounts, and calm me down when I get scared on flights. She meets me at my love languages and goes out of her way to make sure I feel loved on a daily basis. If you ask her, she’s the boss. And if you ask me, I’d definitely agree! She is my perfect complement. We do, however, have to play rock/paper/scissors when it comes to who kills the bugs though! We love to travel together all over the world and look forward to continuing our traveling adventures in Germany!
Jessie: Ashley is very emotionally supportive and is the best listener and empathizer. She always knows how to make me feel better and calm me down when I’m stressing over something. Ash is really witty and funny. She keeps me laughing constantly. Sometimes I try to be funny but it's just not on the same level as her—she's too good. She's got such a warm personality, everyone likes her instantaneously upon meeting her (duh), and she's the best person to have on your trivia team. She is single-handedly taking care of our 1.5-year-old Goldendoodle named Linc while I’ve been in training for the past year. Our professions are similar, so it’s easy for us to understand and connect with each other when we discuss work situations. Ash is such a great leader, mentor, and clinician that I draw a lot of my inspiration and leadership style from her.
JC and Cristian: We have been together for 7 years, living together for 4 years. We love to travel as often as we can get away. Some places we've explored together are China, Cuba, Italy, and we've road tripped all over the southwest US. We're a great team, which has helped us navigate some big changes like Cristian completing law school, career moves for both of us, and adopting our 120 pound Great Dane mix, Oxo. We're very different individually, but our shared values like: commitment to family, social justice, respect for each other, and humor, keep us together.
Ashley and Bianka: We’ve been together for almost 10 years and while that is a long time, it honestly hasn’t felt like 10 years which can be a testament to our relationship. It also speaks to how time flies and seems to only be getting faster with each passing year, but they’ve definitely been better together! We have completely different personalities which can be challenging, especially when it comes to our different communication methods, but we still share our core values which is most important.
We love our dog Butter (aka Luppy) who is the sweetest, spoiled little baby that brightens our days. We enjoy traveling and especially love camping and frequenting the outdoors. Other than that, we’re just like an old married couple who come home to cuddle and watch some tv at the end of the day. Our relationship requires a lot of work just like any relationship, but we’re consistently pushing each other to be better while also supporting and loving each other whole heartedly.
CQ: What does Pride mean to you?
Christine: For me, Pride represents a community – a warm embrace into a group of people who can simply relate. No matter where you are on your personal journey, you are loved and understood.
Whether you’re ready to run through the streets wearing only a pride flag cape, wildly screaming “I love being a lesbian!!!” or you’re not sure how to come out to yourself and family, this community will support you. Pride is not about labels or divisions, it’s about finding the best way to understand each other and find joy in who we are and our right to live and love freely.
Sarah: To me, Pride means reclaiming the richest parts of you. It means celebrating and loving all of yourself as an act of rebellion. Pride is courage. Pride is unity. Pride is the acknowledgement that you are not alone but rather, surrounded by hundreds, thousands - millions even - of glittery folks just like you. Pride is a new vocabulary. Pride is my wife sitting right next to me, and wanting to share my love for her with this whole beautiful, silly little world, every single day.
Miriam: Pride to me is all about self expression and love. Pride is loving and accepting who you are as well as accepting and loving those who are just like you. You own who you are and you’re not afraid to show who or what you believe in.
Janae: Pride to me means to be unapologetic, happy, and carefree being who you are and loving who you love.
Ethan and Marco: Pride is acceptance, love, and the freedom to not only "be yourself," but it gives us permission to explore ourselves without shame. It provides comfort, solidarity, and remembrance of a time, not that long ago, that we as a community were beaten, discriminated against, and jailed for loving openly. We both have experienced living life in the closet and thanks to Pride and increasing visibility, society has changed for the better allowing us to live an open, beautiful life.
Jessie and Ashley: To us, pride means feeling accepted and proud of who we are and how we identify. It means feeling part of a community of people who have experienced struggles to be where they are and who they are and who have triumphed through it all. Pride is about family and showing that families come in many different flavors. It provides the safe space to be your true, authentic self and the platform to advocate for equality.
JC: I grew up in rural South Texas where it wasn't always easy to be my authentic self. Living in San Francisco as a teen in college kicked off a lifelong journey of self-discovery and appreciation for all those who walk similar and different paths than I do. Pride is the reason to come together, celebrate our Diversity, freedom to love each other, and all things queer in this world.
Cristian: Pride is a moment to reflect on how far I have come personally in my journey and how far society has changed because of the Stonewall Riots and activists in the world. I love to celebrate these changes and the successes, though the work is still not over.
Ashley: Pride means so many things to me. Initially, it’s the biggest queer party of the year so its always a great time, but more importantly it’s just so exciting to be apart of such a bad ass community. Breathing is different at Pride, the unity and solidarity that exudes from the queer community during Pride is just so refreshing. It’s like the feeling you get when you walk into a gay bar amplified times ten. It’s all about celebrating and embracing each other and having a space that is ours.
CQ: What kind of topics do you feel are under/overreprested in LGBTQ culture?
Christine and Sarah: I don’t think you can over represent anything related to the LGBTQ+ community, but white, gay, cisgender male relationships and experiences routinely receive the most focus. These stories are told most often and there are far more spaces for gay men than others in the community (e.g. ratio of gay bars and safe gathering places v. lesbian spaces).
While there have been great strides in recent years, trans and non-binary people are still vastly under or misrepresented in media, even in comparison to the rest of the queer community who see so few quality representations of their stories. I’d also love to see bi folks more included and less ostracized within the community.
More LGBTQ+ immigrant and POC representation! Intersectionality is a verryyy broad term used to describe a myriad of nuanced and varying experiences, histories, family dynamics and relationships.
Lastly, there is also a lack of visibility for building queer families, queer parenting, parenting a gender non- confirming child, etc. Representations of these experiences and greater open dialogue about them would be huge.
Miriam and Janae: Definitely anything that deals with our trans people is underrepresented. I believe that many people choose to ignore them. Trans visibility is both misrepresented and underrepresented.
Another topic that is underrepresented in the queer culture is the queer youth and such negative responses they receive. Many people fail to talk about the about the abuse and trauma the queer youth deal with from their family and friends. Mind you these are still KIDS who are still trying to figure themselves out. It’s sick and disheartening that there are adults that are bullying and harming kids.
Jessie and Ashley: Bisexual identity and the ability to retain that identity after settling down with someone either the same or opposite sex. I have friends who struggle to remain supported in their relationship if they fell in love and married someone of the opposite sex regardless of their bisexual identity. The same goes for the other way like with Jessie; many assume that she is gay because she married another woman and often reject her bisexuality because of this. Although she does not struggle with support from the LGBTQ community as within the first example, she still is often misrepresented due to assumption.
CQ: What's a television show/movie/book/piece of art that makes you feel seen or represented by as a queer person?
Christine and Sarah: Oh man! All of them? Any of them? More of them please?
Fried Green Tomatoes!!! Carol, Feel Good, Betty, Booksmart, Pariah, Moonlight, Euphoria (HBO), Call Me By Your Name, All of Céline Sciamma’s works (Portrait of a Lady on Fire, Pauline, Water Lillies), Call My Agent, Disobedience, The L Word, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Dead To Me, Vida, Saint Frances, Orange Is The New Black, Sex Education, Mosquita Y Mari, My Days of Mercy, Transparent, I Love Dick, One Mississippi, Gentleman Jack, The Imitation Game, The Favourite, The Handmaiden, Imagine Me & You, High Art, Act 1 of Blue Is The Warmest Color and no other part of it.
JC: A piece of media that makes me feel represented, though not directly, is the Buffy The Vampire Slayer TV series. Growing up watching Buffy struggle with balancing her life as a slayer, with trying to be a "normal" teen, but having this secret she had to keep, and eventually leveraging this secret and seeing it as powerful and come into her own as a badass was really inspiring. There was also lesbian representation on the show which made it that much better. I think there's quite the queer following for Buffy. Would love to see it remade with some more direct queer representation though.
Cristian: Music allows me to feel represented as a queer person because you can take the general sentiment the artist is trying to portray and fit it to you experience. Even though I applaud the increasing number of LGBTQ+ characters in tv and print media, I still don't see people who I feel completely represented by, being an out Latino gay man who is a second-generation immigrant.
Ashley: The L Word definitely changed my life when I discovered it in high school, back when Netflix only functioned by mailing DVD’s to your mailbox. I signed up right away and was always ecstatic when the new discs would arrive. It was an oasis of entertainment that provided much needed representation for me while I was navigating my own sexuality. The L Word wasn’t perfect and was narrow in the aspect that it mainly focused on predominantly white affluent cis-gendered women, but at the time it rocked my world!
Now 10 years later, we have the revamped season which aimed to encompass more identities within the queer community which was good, but nothing has been more amazing than Vida! Especially as a Latinx lesbian, Vida has combined the underrepresentation of the Latinx community with the queer community and really succeeded in providing that much needed visibility by focusing on specific issues and relationships that are paramount in Latinx communities.
CQ: What do queer spaces mean to you?
Ethan and Marco: Queer spaces make us feel safe. Although society is making a slow and steady shift, there is still the chance for violence or discrimination within the community we live in. We both have grown up in a society that was not accepting of the LGBTQ community. Ethan comes from a very conservative hometown and has difficulty showing public affection to this day. Because of Marco he is becoming more comfortable, but shame is difficult to overcome.
It's sometimes difficult to go to places that are not exclusively queer and live naturally and openly without feeling that shame planted and cultivated by classmates, parents, teachers, religious leaders, government officials, etc. as we grew up. Although we realize it's important to occupy these spaces for increased acceptance an visibility, it can be emotionally taxing.
Ashley and Bianka: Queer spaces are really important to us. We’ve always lived in cities where queer spaces were usually available and that has become a requirement for anywhere that we live, just as it’s important for us to live within a diverse community/city. Being in spaces that don’t have queer spaces and that are predominantly white is really uncomfortable for us (also the food would suck). We’re privileged to be able to choose to live in diverse and queer communities. I can’t fathom what it would be like growing up in a small town as a queer person.
One of the main reasons we decided to live in Long Beach (besides the *slightly cheaper rent) when we moved to California was because of the amazing queer community here. Long Beach Pride has easily become my favorite Pride that I’ve attended. The city really takes pride in its queer community and provides ample spaces and resources for the queer community that isn’t just celebrated during Pride but is consistently being celebrated throughout the city.
CQ: What do you look for in a queer ally?
Miriam: I always look for someone who supports everyone in the queer community. No one left out and are willing to respect, stand and protect those who need it. Be a good person with a good heart and pure intentions. Love is the message.
Janae: In a queer ally, I look for a person who will show respect and support equality among all. Supporting even when the crowd isn’t looking. Having a genuine heart for people in the LGBT+ community.
Ethan and Marco: We think queer allies should be open to making space not only for the LGBTQ community, but for all those minority groups that are experiencing discrimination and inequality. The queer community has many different subgroups of people. A queer ally should be an ally for those that do not have the platform to demand justice for themselves and those like them.
A queer ally should also not focus on anyone's queerness as the ultimate identifier. The biggest insult is being introduced as "My gay friend." Why is that the identifier you choose to associate us with? Why can't we just be "friends?" We as queer individuals will give insight into our personal life when we deem it appropriate. Many hetero-normative allies don't realize that, yes, we come out of the closet initially when we begin to identify as queer, but it doesn't end there. Every time we meet someone new we have to come out and It should be in our control how, when, and to whom we divulge that intimate and personal information.
Ashley and Jessie: We look for people who accept versus tolerate the LGBTQ community in its entirety. Someone who defends us from others’ discrimination or criticism to include legal persecution. Someone who is open to having candid conversations about LGBTQ issues and is open to learning more as this community is forever evolving in order to support all identities, gender and sexual orientation.
JC: Great queer allies show up outside of going dancing at the club. They don't go to the drag show, and then run away when things get uncomfortable.
A true queer ally sees that the queer struggle is intersectional. They show up for Black Lives, for brown folks, for folks of differing abilities, incomes, and experiences.
A queer ally is respectful. Doesn't tell you how to feel, and owns up if they misstep, because all humans have blind spots, but a true ally recognizes that and seeks to learn and do better.
Cristian: A queer ally doesn't just respect queer people. They see people and honor their existence, even when we live and act differently than the straight heteronormative standard.
Ashley and Bianka: Anyone who is willing to listen, to learn, and educate themselves on issues facing the queer community rather than just buying a pair of Nikes with rainbow colors on them and coming to pride to get that coveted photo-op for instagram.
Whether you’re celebrating Pride with a loved one at home or keeping it socially distant and low key, remember there are so many ways to be loud, proud, and surround yourself with the LGBTQ community.
Some of our favorite ways to show our Pride are:
Binging queer movies and television
Plan a zoom pride parade with friends
Check in with your LGBTQ loved ones
Join in on The Trevor Project’s #PrideEverywhere social campaign
Attend “COVID-19 Can’t Cancel Pride,” a livestream benefit event on June 25th
Show up to Global Pride 2020 on June 27th
Educate yourself on the history of Pride
Donate to queer causes, like GLAAD, OutRight, National Center for Transgender Equality, LGBTQ+ Freedom Fund, The Okra Project, SNaPCo, and SAGE
Show up to protest the injustice of the black community
Read some LGBTQ books
Stream our playlist of queer artists
We wish all of our readers, LGBTQ friends and family a Happy Pride Month!
*Thank you to Christine and Sarah, Miriam and Janae, Ethan and Marco, Ashley and Jessie, JC and Cristian, and Ashley and Bianka for their powerful voices and sharing their stories with us.
